A Conversation With Mama Kim
Why our group chat is named "sister mamas" and other motherhood musings.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the incredible moms and people who mother! Our very own Mama Kim went into the delivery room expecting one, and came out with twins (it was the eighties!). She's taught Kathryn (the bonus baby), me, and our brother -- who came just twenty one months after we did -- about determination, compassion, and generosity. She is a superstar mom, who is a constant style inspiration. We hope you enjoy this conversation with her as much as we did! We love you Mama Kim!
1. You call yourselves the “Sister Mamas”, what does that mean to you all?
Lizzie & Kathryn: "Sister Mamas" is the name of our three-way group chat and a funny little term we use for each other all the time. The term emerged after our mom's parents passed, but the sadness of the moment is eclipsed by this truly endearing phrase. It's a beautiful reflection of our tight-knit relationship and how we’re all sisters and mamas to each other. :)
2. What advice did you give Lizzie & Kathryn when they began building their business?
Mama Kim: I recall one of the first calls from Lizzie when she was in the process of deciding to leave Paul Wilmot (her first job after college) and focus solely on her jewelry. She kept wondering “what if”…. What if it fails, what if I can’t support myself….. My response to the “what if”, was don’t worry about the “what if,” rather, think about the amazing learning you will have and the infinite possibilities. What if….. you are 22 and it’s an incredible opportunity…. Take it! When Kathryn was leaving Goldman Sachs to run Lizzie Fortunato, my advice to her, but really to both girls, was to never let the business get in the middle of their relationship and love for one another. They have been true to each other and to the business, but always prioritizing one another and their relationship.
3. Along with being the brand's biggest supporter, your style has been a constant inspiration to the twins. How has it (your style) evolved over the years?
Mama Kim: My style has always been simple/elegant. Over the years, the girls have taught me that sometimes more is more is really ok - like a neckmess. I am getting closer, but not there yet! With all the wonderful turquoise in the current collection, I may actually try to pull it off!
4. What’s your favorite Lizzie Fortunato design (past or present!)?
Mama Kim: I love my turquoise “bespoke” necklace that Lizzie made for my birthday a few years ago (shop a similar strand here!). It is an all time favorite. I also love my gold Duo Earrings in Amethyst - you all know purple/periwinkle is my favorite color!
5. If you could give one piece of advice to your younger self (as a mother?), what would it be?
Lizzie: Don't sweat the small stuff. If the lunchbox isn't perfect or the mittens don't match or you need to clean up the kitchen, it doesn't really matter. As moms and business owners living in New York, we live such extremely fast-paced, densely packed lives, and letting go of the little things to be present for -- and enjoy -- the everyday is something I have remind myself often.
Kathryn: Be more present! It's the advice I am still giving my current self! Everything goes so quickly, and even faster when you're the mother of a young child. Every stage - infancy, toddler, pre-school - is so fleeting. Take lots of videos and be present. The work and chores can wait, but these little kids grow up so quickly.
Mama Kim: Spend more time sitting on the floor playing with your kids. The time disappears in an instant, never to be recouped.
6. What’s the most rewarding part of motherhood?
Lizzie: It's impossible to choose one thing but watching Ruby's curiosity and creativity blossom is extraordinary. She reminds me of myself: constantly collecting, organizing, and crafting things and it's delightful to watch! The other day she told me when she got older she was going to make jewelry... we'll see!
Kathryn: Johnny is 4.5 years old and is at the stage where he wants to marry me. I am here for it. He gives me the most loving forehead kisses, tells me "mama I love you" completely unprompted, and recently while skiing said "mom, I will always wait for you" (yes he's that fast on the mountain). The feeling of being showered with such innocent and absolute love is priceless. Also, watching Johnny and Ruby absorb and learn so much (we joke that they don't have our "cell phone brains") is rewarding everyday.
Mama Kim: For me, motherhood is a forever experience. It grows, changes and reshapes over time, but it is a constant. Among the many titles I have been privileged to have, “mother” is my favorite, and the experience of motherhood far outweighs any other life experience. Witnessing your children becoming caring, responsible, and remarkable adults/parents/spouses is incredibly rewarding.
7. Who inspires you / who are your role models?
Lizzie: Our mom. Not only is she a badass business lady, but she's also an extraordinary mom. Growing up she somehow got us to respect her rules and still want to be hang out with her all the time; I don't know how she did it but I strive to do half as good a job as she did.
Kathryn: Our Mom!! Seriously. Mama Kim was an extraordinarily involved mom while we were growing up (she was a stay at home while we were in school), and then she returned to the corporate world and established an extraordinary career starting at age 45. We always tell her that she needs to do TED talks on the art of transitions and aging, and finding purpose at all stages of life, she is really good at it. I want to be like her when I grow up.
Mama Kim: My Mother, Hope. She was a true adventurer, style maven, graceful and loving woman. While she is gone, her presence in my life is manifested daily.
8. What's your favorite memory of Mama Kim?
Lizzie: It's impossible to choose one, there are too many special ones, so I'll just choose something mundane. I have many memories of our friends -- girls and boys -- coming over in middle school and wanting to hang out in our kitchen (complete with periwinkle cabinet's; Mama Kim loves her purple) with us and our mom. She'd usually be cooking; we'd be sitting at the counter chatting with her, eating her out of house and home. She made a home that everyone felt comfortable in and I fondly remember our friends wanting to hang out with our parents as much as they hung out with us.
Kathryn: Well of course there isn't just one but a few things that come to mind:
I can remember putting a ton of pressure on myself in middle school (surprise, surprise) and can remember Mama Kim ("mom" back then) imposing a "mental health" day where she'd keep me home from school and we'd do something fun. It was as if my mom was teaching me balance at an early and formative age.
I can also remember when our mom was training to run her first marathon - around the mid 1990's. We would be at the beach in New Jersey with our grandparents and cousins and she'd go out for these 20+ mile runs in the hot summer sun. I remember being really impressed and thinking, "wow, our mom is hardcore." These days, we've created a new tradition on Lizzie's and my August birthday. Instead of doing a party or big celebration, the only thing we ask for is a day with our mom - lunch, shopping, antiquing, whatever. We ensure that the husbands are lined up to babysit and we get an interrupted day together. It's the most fun and even if we come home empty handed, our hearts are VERY full. Actually, whenever I hang out with Mama Kim my heart is very full, she is an awesome mama and grandma to Johnny, Ruby, and my brother's 3 kids.
9. What's your favorite memory of Lizzie and Kathryn?
Mama Kim: So, so many… I guess my very favorite memory is when they were born, and I was expecting only Lizzie. Nineteen minutes later Kathryn arrived, and has been called the “bonus baby” ever since! As it relates to the brand, one of my favorite memories of Lizzie was when she was in elementary school. She had evolved from drawing cartoons to sketching fashion designs. When she was in 4th or 5th grade she told me that because she loved to draw fashion, it would probably make sense if she learned how to sew. We found a local sewing class where Lizzie skewed the average age by about 45 years! A favorite memory of Kathryn is from Duke University (my alma mater) where the girls went to college. Early in their sophomore year, Kathryn called to alert me that they were in Playboy Magazine. Of course as a mother, who did not view this as a remarkable milestone, I said, “I beg your pardon?” Kathryn responded, “No, not us….our jewelry!” Indeed, the girls of the ACC were adorned in nothing more than Lizzie Fortunato.
10. If you could have an uninterrupted hour to yourself on Mother’s Day, what would you do with it?
Lizzie: Sleep late!
Kathryn: A facial! Or lie in bed and read a great book. Our mom just recommended "Go As a River" and it was engrossing and beautiful.
Mama Kim: If I had one uninterrupted hour, I would need 2, to donate to each daughter. These days I have many uninterrupted hours and so appreciate the value of silence and stillness.
xx,
The Sister Mamas